Tiny Couch Review

Riverdale, 2017–

  • LeratoEnchanted
    LeratoEnchanted
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    Grandmaster Critic

    120 posts
    Signed up the 28/03/2017

    On 24/04/2017 at 09:03 Quote this message

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    This is a review for episodes of season 1- episodes 1 to 10.

    Oh, Riverdale, where do I start? I remember going on about the visual stimulation of the show on Twitter for a little over the 4th episode. During these passionate rants I've never failed to mention how, even though the storyline is flat and yet to pick up I was still going to continue watching because the show's team understands how use of colour and an ultimate aesthetic for a show is manipulative and thus able to draw an audience in no matter what.

    But that "no matter" what, for me, came to a shakey ground after watching the 10th episode (mind you, I've literally tried everything to stop myself from watching the show after the 6th episode because the low writing was beginning to make popcorn of my freaking brains!) Alas!

    I couldn't believe that they'd still let a minor and a teacher have a "relationship" on television, and continue to handle it with such carelessness where Archie is basically high-fived, and Ms. Grundie (the paedophile teacher) gets let off with no particular consequence at all. I mean, they obviously ripped off some of Pretty Little Liars, you'd think they'd learn from their mistakes as well?! (Aria and Ezra). The person who plays Archie is also the most bland human being to walk this planet. I mean, this boy could give Brenton Thwaites a run for his money for being the most boring person, ever! (wait, are they brothers? Because they look-a-like, too). It doesn't help that he also has the most lulling voice, too. What horrible casting for a title boy, CW!

    Betty is not pleasant to watch at all, from that snaking headroll she does each time she speaks, to not actually having an established personality and where exactly she fits in on the social ladder at the school is just annoying to watch. One minute she's this person, the next she's that- this makes it very hard to stand behind her as she tends to get highly agrivating and mousy- not so horrible casting, more the writers' fault.

    The rest of the cast is either unnecessary or too overly done. The storylines backing these particular characters add no real meat to the storyline. They all seem to be there, just to be there. The overall storyline seems to be too forced and written by rookie writers who have no business handling a show that was initially supposed to revive teen television drama; seeing as PLL, Teen Wolf and The Vampire Dairies have all come to their end. Shame on that Riverdale writers' room. Truthfully? I hope they all get fired, and they bring in new writers and showrunners for season 2- seeing as it's already approved- or they're doomed to lose viewership.

    They have the right template, but they're not using it to the best of their abilities. Jughead could use a little espresso, the supposed mean-girl Cheryl could use tips on being, like, mean. Veronica could use some preppy-style tips from Spencer Hastings, but she's actually the only enjoyable one out of the rest of the cast otherwise. Everyone else should just get cut because they simply have no business on set, but since that's not an option, a serious revamp should be done on the storyline moving forward. The writers need to use their pens, they need to pay attention to every last detail of every plotline instead of rushing through it and undermining their audiences for airheads. Aesthetics will only manage to keep us hooked for so long- hell, I'm already detaching, imagine which other fan out there is planning on not coming back for the second season unless some serious revamping news hit?

    And are we not here for the dead boy (Jason?) whose death is still a mystery, and is the actual centre of the story? We're at the 10th episode and still no word on Jason, and we instead get to watch some 45minutes of pure, frothing trash wrapped in gold as we're forced to care about the Riverdale parents, their dull kids and their supposed "dark secrets" and "mysteries". Riiight. We see through your holes, Riverdale! Pick your socks up or there won't be many seasons to go by- as compared to your teen drama predecessors.

    For anyone who hasn't begun watching this horrible, visually manipulative show, I'd recommend you don't start now or you'd be subjecting your precious brain to hours of nonsense which you'll never get back.

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